Letter To The One Who Gave Me The Sincerest Company

2 Mar

I wrote this August last year, a month after I decided to quit you and the things we enjoyed doing together. This is almost never written.

My Dearest G.,

You and I once acted together in the most beautiful love story ever written. Only we didn’t know who’s the beloved, who’s the lover.

We would have been smart to take that as a sign. Walking on one side of the highway, I left my crowd and crossed over to join in your lone drinking game. I knew the benefits of your friendship.

I accompanied you to the places you knew where we sat alone together to the passing of time, drinking and smoking through dusk until dawn. We were good at ignoring the commotion of all those inside. When the early hours came, we left, slugging from a bottle of beer until we stole urgently fueled kisses in the car we took a free ride. The alcohol allowed us weeks full of meaningful glances to materialize into something malicious and gossipy that I said I regret. For now, after all those times, you surrendered to it.

You always brought your lighter to light my cigarette. Always, the flame reflected in your clear eyes betrayed your intentions. As our grip on each other grew tighter, we fell deeper and deeper. I supposed if we stumbled through a field, we would have collapsed in a loving embrace.

But our story was not as quite remarkable as Shakespeare had written it. You knew you were being used, as did I, but we made a passing agreement to ignore it. Afterwards, we lay for a while, smoking, staring up into the starry night sky. Just a classic picture of romance. As it started to rain, we headed home. We no longer kissed. We forgot the desire of us to feel the love as it was in our illusions.

We emerged back into our crowd and started to be what we were once to each other, exchanging welcoming glances as if every day was our first meeting. Our friends would have forgotten our escape. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell as many people as you thought.

As our goodbyes never happen, promises of future contact will still string us together. But more than anything else, let me tell you, and I’m gonna say this for once:

I’ve always preferred your company (even if our activity is killing me, literally.)



39 Responses to “Letter To The One Who Gave Me The Sincerest Company”

  1. ODDBLOOD March 2, 2010 at 8:28 pm #

    hays..nalungkot naman ako..pero siguro nga lahat talaga ng bagay ay may hangganan, at yun ang kailangan nating tanggapin..there’s no such thing as “forever.” we just have to savor every moment of it while it’s still ‘good’, dahil sabi nga ni Nelly Furtado sa kanta niya.. “Flames to dust, lovers to friends…all good things come to an end.” 😐

    • Suckingbird March 3, 2010 at 2:13 pm #

      haaayyyssss. wala na akong feelings. ewan.. last year pa to.. i’ve come to the point where i have much tranquility to realize everything..

  2. slaveboi March 3, 2010 at 2:25 am #

    Very nostalgic. Beautifully written. 🙂 I love memories like these.

    • ODDBLOOD March 3, 2010 at 10:40 am #

      yeah..there are some things that can make us nostalgic and brooding at the same time.. :]

    • Suckingbird March 3, 2010 at 2:07 pm #

      hahaha. masochistic ka rin ano?

  3. hastydevil March 3, 2010 at 2:27 am #

    at least we have loved. others are less fortunate.

    • Suckingbird March 3, 2010 at 2:08 pm #

      hahaha. less fortunate tlga? or selfish?

  4. Esmina March 3, 2010 at 3:38 am #

    hantaray Naman NitonG poSt nato?.. HahAwaHaha!.. KasE naman.. PaG maHaL mo anNg iSanG tao IKadEna Mo Sa PuSo mo!.. 😀 iPa TaToo Mo Sa LunGs Mo.. At paTi GalL BLaDdERs Mo.. IALaY mo PaRa Sa KAniYa.. PaG iNiWaNan ka Pa Rin niYa: HiNdi SiyA paRa Sa Yo.. BiTiwAn mo Nah.. 😀 heHehe.. *ApPliCaBlE yAn sa KaibiGan, aT sa Ka-IbiG-An… 😀

    • Suckingbird March 3, 2010 at 2:11 pm #

      matagal na tong tapos… ngaun ko lang sinabi.. don’t have to do something about it. sort of apology/explanation ko lang to.

      • Esmina March 3, 2010 at 2:14 pm #

        Wahaha! Mag explain ba?.. wuzjhuh?.. hehe… 😀 haha!!!

        • Suckingbird March 3, 2010 at 2:28 pm #

          di na ako mgcomment ng OA kasi “he” is reading my blog. i mean, he used to read my former blog. di ako sure kung alam na niya may bago na akong blog. 🙂 so please.. no more provocation.

  5. richard March 3, 2010 at 6:11 am #

    wow! what a great epistle! say thank you to him. “thank you for being a person that you are..”. hehe. (writing while singing, “muling ibalik, ang tamis ng pag-ibig. muling pagbigyan ang pusong nagmamahal). Lol.

    • Suckingbird March 3, 2010 at 2:11 pm #

      emo ka tlga richard. haha. hindi ko ggwin yang suggestion mo. 🙂

      • soiebeans March 3, 2010 at 2:57 pm #

        and why?

        • Suckingbird March 3, 2010 at 4:07 pm #

          shet. i think there’s a conspiracy going on between you and richard. hhmmmmmm.. need to confirm it soon.

          • richard March 5, 2010 at 7:40 am #

            On saturday night. Lol.

          • Suckingbird Keller March 5, 2010 at 12:55 pm #

            boyset.. sino ba sa inyo si soiebeans? am i talking to one person only?

          • Esmina March 5, 2010 at 1:20 pm #

            WahaHa Ha! aNg ToToO oPs.. Ako diN si SoiEe.. aHaHahahaK! … 😀

          • oxyboi March 5, 2010 at 1:32 pm #

            huh? hehe…

          • Suckingbird March 5, 2010 at 2:56 pm #

            ewan ko sa inyo.

  6. raspberryreich March 3, 2010 at 2:14 pm #

    This reminded me of a film with Coco Martin in it. I think Daybreak’s the title.

    If you know the film, was it almost the same thing? Just hiding your secret affair from the others, having your own world, and pretending as if nothing ever happened after everything? Sorry, don’t mean to pry but was he closeted?

    Hmmm….. Coco Martin.. *drools*

    • Suckingbird March 3, 2010 at 2:26 pm #

      he’s not. he’s actually flambouyant. haha. it’s just about the crowd we’re in. something happened that made a worst impression on him.. and our common friends would certainly freak out kung mallman nila na “he” and I had something…

      daybreak.. yes, i have to watch that movie.

      • J. Kulisap March 4, 2010 at 9:38 am #

        Proud Papa.

        Ang hair, abot hanggang Quiapo.

        Trip to Quiapo.

        • Suckingbird March 4, 2010 at 10:29 am #

          pinagttripan mo tlga plagi ung buhok ko.. buhok siguro ang fetish mo.. hahaha.

          • J. Kulisap March 4, 2010 at 11:47 pm #

            Kasi po Sir, hindi maganda ang tubo ng buhok ko.

            Parang hindi ako naligo kahit naligo naman.

  7. Deejgeek March 4, 2010 at 5:20 am #

    Hello! Loving your blog.=]

    I added you in my blogroll.=] ope you do the same..=]

    DeejGeek of http://deejgeek.blogspot.com

  8. J. Kulisap March 4, 2010 at 9:34 am #

    Gaano kalalim ang iniwang marka ng taong yan?

    Namahika ako sa iyong sulat.

    Wikang banyaga ulit, pero naramdaman ko ang nais mong ipahayag.

    Ang mundo mo ba ay mundo ko rin?

    Nasa magkaibang mundo tayo pero ang humaharang lamang ay ang kaibahan ng panahon, ng paniniwala, ng mga taong gumagalaw sa tagpo.

    • Suckingbird March 4, 2010 at 10:28 am #

      punta ka dito jkul. join forces tayo 🙂

  9. J. Kulisap March 4, 2010 at 9:36 am #

    Ito ay isang inosenteng tanong.

    Nakapalipot ako sa mga kabataang may tinatawag na top at bottom, butch at effem.

    Sana tama ako ng pagkakarinig.

    Gusto kong maunawaan lalakeng bago na naman ang hairdo.

  10. Suckingbird March 4, 2010 at 10:34 am #

    1. top —-> the one who does the labor
    2. bottom —> the receiver
    3. versatile —> the one who can do both ways

    4. butch —-> physically masculine
    5. effem —-> short for effeminate (mahinhin), but doesn’t necessarily mean faggotry.

    • Esmina March 4, 2010 at 11:14 am #

      paDaAn LaNg Ulit s MaGanD a mO Ng bAHay!.. aHahA.. uY oPs .. IKaW bA yNag NaS a siDe BaR mO?.. Hehe .. NekoW.. 😀 eNgKuLe T. NaMan nG dEfiNiTion naToh?. 🙂 ahaHA! paRaNg 101 LnG nNgkuNg AnEtCh.. HhIhihi.. 😀

      • Suckingbird March 4, 2010 at 1:27 pm #

        oo. bakit esmina? natotomboy ka na ba sakin? BUWAHAHAHAHA

        • Esmina March 4, 2010 at 2:00 pm #

          In YoUr DrEaMs OpS.. HekHeK! >.. 😀

          • Suckingbird March 4, 2010 at 3:13 pm #


          • Esmina March 4, 2010 at 3:31 pm #

            wHaTeVer! oPs!, HahaHa!!! BeLiEve wHat YoU wAnT to BeLiEvE! heHehE!…

          • Suckingbird March 4, 2010 at 3:41 pm #

            ang OA naman nito. wag ka ngang nega diyan. Joke lang un, ano ka ba.

    • J. Kulisap March 4, 2010 at 11:49 pm #

      Saan ka nahahanay diyan Sir?

      Masyado ng personal, ayos naman kung hindi mo sasagutin.

      Dahil pag sinagot mo, maraming kasunod na tanong.

  11. Suckingbird Keller March 5, 2010 at 12:54 pm #

    secret na kung saan ako nahahanay. kung gusto mong malaman… see me in person. buwahahahahahaha!

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